So Joey and I were at the mall today doing a little shopping with Ryan. We were in this store that sells tea called Teavana. This employee who was Asian herself approaches me and Ryan and says "your baby look Chinese." I said well, he's South Korean actually. Her response then was "Oh, I was going to say." What ever the heck that means. I responded back and said that we just adopted our son from South Korea and walked away. I didn't really know how to respond to her comment at the time. I don't know why this annoyed me so much. After I walked away I thought of a million things I should of said. Either way, some people are so clueless and say the dumbest things without even thinking. I guess this is part of being an "conspicuous family."
Anyways, thought I would share this. Joey and I walked away kind of giggling at her remark. Other than that we had a great time strolling the mall with Ryan. He was a very patient shopper...unlike his mommy :)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
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hi there - i've been following your blog for a little bit and just wanted to say *congrats* and that ryan is adorable and i'm glad he's getting settled fairly easily into his new surroundings :o) and about the remark from the sales clerk - i apologize on behalf of asians everywhere ... all i can say is, asian ppl (the older generation in particular) are not known for their *tact*, and so i'm glad you were just able to get a giggle out of it ... i've had random men on the streets of nyc call me "hey chinese lady". um, actually. i'm korean!! but a corresponding response on my part would have been to say "hey spanish man", or the like ... ppl say stoopid things. let's just laugh at their ignorance/stupidity :o)
ReplyDeleteI get questions and comments about Xavier often - usually at the grocery store. It threw me off the first few times.
ReplyDeleteStart working on your list of automatic responses. Eventually Ryan will be able to answer questions about himself with confidence and pride.
One thing you'll learn as a parent is that there is quite often always someone with some outlandish comment, or opinion they should keep to themselves, ignorance or unsolicited advice. Some of the adoption comments/questions do hit home (especially since so many people are ignorant to it, and you want your child to grow up confident in himself etc.) ... but just get some ready responses in your back pocket, just as if you were greeted by some lady who told you you shouldn't let your child watch tv, or gosh your son isn't saying many words, or is THAT really how you're going to dress your child. As soon as you are the parent of a little one many people in the world take the "it takes a village to raise a child" to the wrong extreme. It can be very aggravating, but at the same time... give yourself a hug... welcome to parenthood :) And give that baby a hug... he's gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteCarrie
You are sooo right!! SOME PEOPLE!!! I get the most off the wall comments about Danny--in fact today a man (whose wife worked at Dan's school) asked us if he was still "alive?" and said that should have a big lawsuit-- I responded YES it should have been! and walked away. And I can always teach Ryan to shop manna is a "good" shopper! I need a shopping buddy. Glad he is doing so well and he cannot get any cuter! We love him so much (you guys too and Cooper too.) Manna
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